Is Candy Land that Bad of a Board Game?
Let’s be honest - Candy Land gets a lot of bad press. The classic board game of hopping from color to color and visiting characters like Gramma Nutt and King Kandy is criticized heavily by parents all over. Even board game lovers like to make fun of it because of its extreme simplicity and lack of skill. But I’m here today to defend the honor of this classic game of colorful confectionery. I’m going on the record - I think Candy Land is just fine.
What makes a board game bad anyway? I know it’s tempting to say simplicity, but I beg to differ. In fact, young children need simplicity in their games. The first board games for your toddler should basically be teaching them little more than how to follow rules and take turns - and everything else is icing on top.
My suspicion is that some parents hate Candy Land because their kids want to play it over and over again. But repetition in board games can be useful for development - much like the repetition of reading the same book over and over again. And sometimes we just have to grin and bear it. But I also think some parents pile on Candy Land in a bandwagon hate sort of way - simply because it’s been around forever. It’s a game that is found in most homes, and making fun of it has become the cool thing to do.
But I won’t stand for it anymore. Candy Land is completely serviceable. It’s an educational game for little ones. It allows you to practice your colors, as well as your visualization when moving two squares of the same color. And, like most games, it also helps little ones learn how to take turns and teaches them how to win and lose with grace. Sure, they never should have gotten rid of the best character (Plumpy), but that alone is no reason for all the vitriol.
They never should have gotten rid of Plumpy.
Seriously, what’s not to like? It has a great cute theme that’s truly stood the test of time. It’s mindless - but in a truly relaxing way. Believe me, there are kids games that make me want to hit my head with a hammer, but Candy Land just isn’t one of them. Once I start playing, there’s absolutely nothing unpleasant about flipping over cards and moving to the correct color. In fact, I find myself hoping I do well. Who doesn’t hope they draw that ice cream cone?
Most importantly of all, and I can’t stress this enough, it’s mercifully short and sweet. People have it all wrong when it comes to bad board games. Simple is fine. The real problem out there is simple children’s games that don’t even have the decency to be short. With 2 players you can be done with a round of Candy Land in a few minutes. A FEW MINUTES! You certainly can’t say that about Monopoly.
As you can see clearly see, Candy Land is a very relaxing game.
Now, if you want to talk about bad board games - games that deserve to be “accidentally” disappeared into the dumpster - you need to be looking at the games that mock your desire to be done quickly. I’m talking about the ones that slowly suck your life away. And I think you know what I mean.
Imagine that feeling you get when you start playing a game you don’t really want to play with your kids. Then about 10 minutes into the game you’re already just hoping it ends soon. But then, SURPRISE, twenty minutes into the game there’s some sort of mechanic where you go back to the beginning of the game and basically start all over for no reason whatsoever. That’s right, you guessed it, I’m talking about Sorry! - or Sorry!’s (somehow) even more terrible cousin Trouble.
Sorry! is not my favorite board game.
Games like this offer counting practice, and the slight strategy of trying to land on your opponents. But, I ask you, at what cost? They don’t even have the courtesy to provide us with attractive art - or a cursory backstory to explain what the heck we’re doing all this for in the first place. To sum up, I would chew off my own leg for Candy Land after 30 minutes of any game that has me rolling and moving in a circle.
And there’s another very prevalent type of board game out there that deserves 100 times more hate than Candy Land. And these games are even worse than Sorry!, if you can believe it, because at the very least Sorry! provides you with a set of coherent rules. The true worst of the worst board games are the famous IP cash grabs.
Candy Land actually has some lore behind it!
Let’s say you’re grocery shopping and stumble across a game you’ve never heard of before. Maybe it’s based on Bluey or Dog Man. And you say to yourself, “Hey! We like Bluey or Dog Man!” If this was ever you, and if you failed to manage your impulses, you now surely know better than to ever criticize Candy Land ever again. You will be begging and pleading with your children to play Candy Land with you after a few minutes with a poorly-crafted cash grab like Bluey’s Roll and Move in a Circle Adventure.
The world just doesn’t know how good it has it with Candy Land. Parents everywhere should be thanking Candy Land. Thank you, Candy Land, for teaching my kids colors, and for introducing them to taking turns and losing with grace. Thank you for being simple and straightforward, and for looking nice. And, most importantly, thank you for having the compassion to end after just a few minutes.
Are you a Candy Land lover or a Candy Land hater? Which board game are you most likely to “accidentally” lose in your house? Let us know in the comments!
