The 25 Best Christmas Jokes for Kids
Our 7-year-old son is a big fan of jokes and riddles. As I’ve mentioned before, he really gets a kick out of memorizing them and sharing them with others - especially when we’re gathered together with extended family. So we’re constantly keeping our ears open for new favorites.
And because we’ll be getting together with family a lot this month, that makes the Christmas holidays the perfect time for a new collection of kids jokes here on Dad Suggests. He’s definitely going to need more joke ammunition for all of the upcoming Christmas parties.
But, if you’ve ever looked up kids jokes before, you’re probably well-aware that finding good jokes can be quite a challenge. Joke books for kids are very hit-and-miss, and they’re often full of groan-inducing puns that are so forced it’s hard to imagine they were ever put down in print. On the flip side, sometimes joke books are so bad that it actually becomes entertaining again to bask in their awfulness - so at least there’s that.
And if you’re looking for jokes that fit a theme - like Christmas - it makes the task monumentally harder. Now you’re going to run into jokes that not only barely qualify as humor, but also quite often have the Christmas theme tacked on as an afterthought. Just as an example, here is our all time favorite terrible joke:
What’s green and sour and delivers presents all over the world? Santa Pickle.
Even when my son and I turned to our favorite joke bot - the Amazon Alexa - for a Christmas joke, we were tremendously disappointed with the number of adult jokes, outright duds, and puns he didn’t understand. And, quite frankly, understanding them often doesn’t help their case for existing very much.
So my mission with this article is to provide you with a curated list of family-friendly Christmas jokes that naturally fulfill two qualifications:
1) They are winter and Christmas-themed without feeling forced.
2) They are legitimately humorous to my 7-year-old son and I.
We hope you find some new Christmas jokes for you and the little ones to add to their holiday party arsenal! There are exactly 25 jokes in this collection so feel free to use them as your very own Christmas joke Advent calendar. And Merry Christmas to your family from ours!
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Hey - do you smell carrots?
Where does Santa keep his money?
In a snowbank.
Why didn’t the rope get any presents?
Because it was knotty.
Why is Santa so good at gardening?
Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe.
What does Frosty do when he’s stressed out?
Take a chill pill.
What’s a mime’s favorite Christmas carol?
Silent Night
Why don’t snowmen ever eat carrot cake?
They’re afraid it has boogers in it.
Why doesn’t Santa worry about the past?
He’s constantly thinking about the present.
What do you call a group of chess players who gather in the hotel lobby after the tournament to brag about their victories from the day?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
Why did the snowman get a headache?
Brain freeze.
What’s a squirrel’s favorite Christmas tradition?
The Nutcracker
What kind of music do Christmas elves like?
They love to wrap.
How is the alphabet different on Christmas?
There’s Noel.
Why was Santa mad about Rudolph’s report card?
He went down in history.
What do you call a bankrupt Santa?
St. Nickle-Less
Why were Santa’s helpers feeling depressed?
Low elf-esteem.
What does Christmas have in common with a cat lost in the desert?
They both have sandy claws.
What do mummies like so much about Christmas?
They’re very big into wrapping.
What’s the very best Christmas present?
A broken toy drum. You simply can’t beat it.
Why didn’t Rudolph ever go to school?
He was actually elf-taught.
How does Eeyore celebrate Christmas?
He decks the halls with melancholy.
Which reindeer is the most impolite?
Rude-olph
What does the gingerbread man put on his mattress?
Cookie sheets
Why was Frosty the Snowman kicked out of the produce section of the grocery store?
They caught him picking his nose.
Once there was a mighty viking named Rudolph the Red who looked out the window and told his wife, “It’s going to rain.” “How do you know?” she asked.
Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.
If you liked this collection of Christmas jokes, make sure to check out:
The Best Halloween Jokes for Kids
The Best Jokes for Kids
The Best Dad Jokes
The Best Riddles for Kids
What’s your favorite family Christmas joke? Let us know in the comments!
