Tips for a Successful Family Game Night
We’ve been playing board games with our kids since our son (now 10) was probably about 2. And I’ve been writing about our experience with books and games for about 5 of those years now. And throughout all of those years I’ve also tested the patience of my wife (and the strength of our shelves) with my lack of impulse control for acquiring new games.
I like to occasionally take the time to point out that it doesn’t matter what activities your family does together. The important thing of course is spending time together and building memories and stoking the fires of imagination and wonder for kids. And, for whatever reason, we have chosen playing games together as one primary vehicle for that in our house.
Games are also of course one of the two pillars of Dad Suggests. The reason I started Dad Suggests was to share the books and games we love with others - in the hopes that it might spread some fun and joy to your family as well. And that’s why I wanted to write this article about family game night tips as well. And even if my individual tips don’t prove useful, maybe my chaotic rambling about the importance of building memories with kids will at least inspire someone to go pull out a board game today.
This is part 2 of a special feature on family game night. You can find part 1 at: The Case for Family Game Night
What I did was reflect on some of our successes over the years, and on some of the common pitfalls I’ve seen around the game table. And I thought about other things I prioritize and how I show that through my actions. And if you’re reading an article about tips for a successful family game night, it’s safe to say you already value spending quality time together - so I bet you have some good ideas of how to make it a reality.
But, for what it’s worth, here are a few of my ideas for making family game night a success!
Schedule a Day and Be Consistent
This goes back to building those habits and routines we were talking about in our article - The Case for Family Game Night. When the kids are young, it’s easy to just play games whenever you want. The time together is just built in. But making a big deal out of a specific night or routine has benefits that will pay off down the road.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s obviously not the end of the world if you have to miss a week. But the more consistent you are, the harder a ritual it will be to break when the kids grow up and everyone’s schedule gets even more complex.
You can also say the same about absolutely anything that you want to prioritize. It’s the same thing about making a habit of exercising. When it’s just part of your routine then the momentum builds. So whatever you want to prioritize - in this case spending time playing games with your family - just make it part of the routine somehow. And playing games together is certainly a very worthwhile priority to value.
Let Everybody Choose a Game
Choice is an essential ingredient for high engagement. Especially for kids. We see it everywhere: family move night, what book to read, what to eat for dinner, and even education. That’s why giving every family member an equal opportunity to choose the game you play is a good recipe for success.
This advice is easy to put into action. Simply take turns choosing the next game you play on family game night. If the games you play are short enough, everyone might get a choice each week. Otherwise, just keep track of whose turn it is to pick next week - or however often you play together.
As an added bonus, you’re also more likely to play a variety of games this way if the members of your family have different tastes. And, yes, it’s your duty to just grin and bear it if your little one keeps choosing the same game. Just like with favorite books they want you to read again and again - it’s a good thing!
Put the Phones Away
This is the hard one, and in some ways the most obvious. But it’s the most important tip by far. By this point, you’d think it would be commonplace to put our devices away when interacting with others, but, unfortunately, it’s not. If anything it’s just gotten worse. Engagement is absolutely destroyed when anyone – child or adult – gives half of their attention to their phone (or Nintendo Switch) the entire time.
Early on in your family game night tradition, it’s especially important for the parents to be the role models here. Spending time together is the ultimate goal, and smartphones and other screens definitely take our minds someplace else. One interesting study has shown that students are still distracted by their phones if they are in their pockets. So before you start, just put them away in a different part of the house.
House Rules
Every good board game group needs some house rules. And your family game night is no exception. But I’m talking about much more than whether or not you count the dice rolls if they fall on the floor. I’m talking about the little details that pertain to your family and make family game night work for you.
Food is a good example for us. For a small stretch of time, we had to avoid bringing snacks to the board game table. When our son was about 5 or 6, snacks were just as distracting as having a phone at the table. It was really quite funny how much snacks would completely absorb him, but ultimately it was not entirely conducive to staying focused and present.
Another good example might be the time of day that you play. We learned very early on that both of our kids’ attention spans (and sometimes sportsmanship) go out the window when they start to get tired. It did not take me long to learn my lesson of trying to teach them a new game too close to bedtime. This holds particularly true the younger the kids are, so make sure to adjust accordingly!
But, at the end of the day, just keep in mind the main purpose of having a family game night - having fun together. Maybe your frequency is every other week or once a month. Maybe you only like cooperative games - in which case you probably need to have a house rule to make every participant feel involved and valued.
Or maybe you’re a cutthroat family and want to keep a competitive chart of everyone’s total wins hanging on the wall. My wife and I play 1 game a week against each other to see who has to fold the laundry that week. There are tons of ways to make board games work for your family, and you’re the one who knows best how to use them to bring your family some joy.
I wish you all a very merry family game night. How do you make family game night work for you? Let me know any other good house rules or tips you have in the comments!
